Wait . . .what . . . what is this ?

. . . A blog update ???? . . . . A story update ??? . . . and a Shawna & Erik post ???? Took you long enough !!!

Failed Partnership
I though I would go ahead and say what you are all thinking. So, yes this is a Shawna and Erik post but really it is a Shawna post because I am writing this. I originally took Erik on as a writing partner for this project because his writing style was good for a specific part of this new story. However the writing partner relationship kind of fell apart. I enjoy his help and critique but, you will never see a book written by Shawna and Erik. Good thing we like to do other things together !

Web Serial

So, I do have a taste of the new web serial. I wanted to have most of it storyboarded/written before I introduced it so, you wouldn't read something new and wait forever for an update *cough* Lile *cough* ( :

The new chapter in the Closer to Earth Series is called Hidden. I do know it will be shorter than Veritas by a lot and then the 3rd in the series (which I am so excited about even though I have yet to write it !!!) will be even shorter.

I will say that music is often times the hardest for me so, I may be reusing music and favorites trying to re-contextualizing it. However the new music I do have I am so excited about. I got them all from a particular show that has fantastic music !

Icebergs

I am trying a new style of writing. I want to try and use the Iceberg Theory. A theory on short story writing where you only show the important action of the plot and not explain all the background information that is underneath the surface. You only see/read the "tip" of the iceberg and you kind of feel out the rest. Of course the background information will be revealed in later chapters because this is not a short story. I am trying this theory on a few chapters.

This theory was mostly attributed to Hemingway's short stories. He explains it as :

"If a writer of prose knows enough of what he is writing about he may omit things that he knows and the reader, if the writer is writing truly enough, will have a feeling of those things as strongly as though the writer had stated them. The dignity of movement of an ice-berg is due to only one-eighth of it being above water. A writer who omits things because he does not know them only makes hollow places in his writing."


Incidentally enough his most well known novel is The Sun Also Rises and it was published when he was 26ish. For some reason I imagine if he were alive today he would fit in at Cobalt as a young writer. Not to mention Joel would have some competiton in the office. Here is Heminway's photo at that time :



Hidden

Hidden Chapter 1

Loose Ends

I wanted to wrap up some loose ends from part 1 and also give you all a little more insight into the characters.
Anti-heroes

A popular trope in CP literature and in SH serials in general is the anti-hero. In UL, it can be argued Sawyer and Juliana are antiheroes, in IVB Slate is an antihero.

In Veritas I think most of them fall under the type IV 'What the Hell' antihero. In my own head they are the types of protagonist you aren't supposed to like, they aren't good people and don't try to be. However the fact that you can relate to them is what gives them the hero part of it.

Alan

As you all know I tend to base my characters of real life events/persons and inspirations. Juliana is a mixture of inspiration from Jonestown/LG15, the IVB's are based off the Awareness Ribbons and foundations.

Well, Alan's story-- this whole section really-- is based on Patty Hearst. The girl who was trapped in a closet for 57 days and became part of a terrorist organization and is a convicted felon. She gets Stockholm Syndrome and I was kind of interested in this concept. SS is played with a little in UL but, I wanted to make a story of it. Hearst was ironically enough 19 at the time she was taken which I just discovered.

The original Veritas concept (before it even became a CP story) was about a girl who is taken and falls in love with her captor and then has to decide to turn him in or not but, I couldn't find enough story for that ... and Lile fleshed it out better.

Also, some people imagined early on that Alan was gay but he is a heterosexual.

The Dorys

Oh, the Dorys . . . they were originally very minor characters and the story was mostly Alan and Sara but, I felt like they added something. I had thought out this story and concept characters without even really acknowledging the "squickness" of Jean and Minnow's relationship.

However, it is relevant to know that Jean is gay. So, no there is nothing between he and Sara. Minnow is bisexual and she is also a nymphomaniac. That's why she comes on to Alan so strong. It's not the cybernetics that makes Alan attracted to Minnow its the drugs she gives him. The drugs are a mix of pain relief and libido boosters which is why they are always 'in the mood" after they take them.

Some people comment that Alan was using her sexually but, she was using him. When Alan spent so much time building the bomb with Sara she went back to spending so much time with Jean. The "sex scenes" in the serial even though they are from Alans POV are all about Minnow. Alan never describes feeling any type of pleasure during the sex because the sex is not about him, it's about her. That's not to say the loving feeling between Minnow and Alan weren't real because they do care for each other.

As far as Jean and Minnow's relationship goes, In my head they don't have sexual intercourse if anything they probably have sexual intracourse. Not only is Jean just very close to her, he doesn't like that Minnow sleeps with other men all the time. He'd rather she deal with her addiction with him than with strangers. Kind of the whole parents who perfer you drink in the house instead of in the street.

I think I made the squickiness worse.

!Disclaimer !*This is all concepts for a story that is about the gritty and unpleasent in life and is complete fiction. I can't abdicate this in real life. If Erik and I have kids we would NEVER let them act like the characters we write. They'd be on a short leash*

The Graces & Saint

I will say in the beginning Sara's whole name was Sara Grace but, somehow it didn't work so Grace is actually her (very ironic) last name.

As I think I've mentioned Sara was supposed to be a strong female, takes no BS character but, I also wanted her to be really likeable in a tough love kind of way. She is the model antihero because she is driven for vengeance against the big bad (the government) for killing her husband but, they way she does it is not exactly nice

As for Luce he was a main character from the start and in the original story he had a much bigger part. I imagine he will have a larger role in part 2.

As for Saint, he is asexual so, there is nothing between him and Sara either. They are just really close. Saint is an original concept based on something I saw I just can't remember what.

Foreshadowing and other plot devices

Mrs. Gray

Alan's mother's name, Ciele is supposed to be like the French words for sky. So, her name is Gray Skies. That's why Alan remembers her after sitting outside and watching the gray sky.

Character Evolution

Alan is slowly pulled into this crapsack world but,keeps his innocence and moral integrity for most of it. The real breaking point for him is in chapter 9 when Minnow is going into withdrawal and Alan sleeps with her against her consent. He has lost his grasp a little bit here and it officially makes him one of them. The only thing that pulls him out a little is Allison.

Phyrric Victory

I guess Lile and I are reading from the same book (trope page . . . ?) with this one. I always knew Minnow and Saint were going to die because Sara's win was going to be a Phyrric victory. When you win but, lose everything important to you in the mix.

Inspirations !

Here are some more picspirations :

Inspiration for Allison, the pale skinned brunette. I wanted to find a picture of Cosgrove not smiling and this was the best one. Plus, it has an innocence.

I saw this image and thought of Minnow Dory. I have no idea why.



Inspirtaion for Mrs. Gray. This is one of Hugh Hefners girlfriends I'm not sure which one, I saw her picture and thought she fit the image.

Part II

No, I don't have Part II (thought I'd rip that band-aid)

But, I am so excited about it--I have a lot planned out. I am even gearing up for part 3. There will only be 3 parts so, don't worry I'm not trying to write anything to epic.


Finally, Story Inspirations

I wanted to conclude this post with the quotes that inspired this whole story. I had no plot before but, I found this quotes and they became the theme.

"Transhumanism is about how technology will eventually help us overcome the problems that have, up until now, been endemic to human nature. Cyberpunk is about how technology won't."

— Stephenls of RPG.Net, on the relation between transhumanism and cyberpunk

"Anything that can be done to a rat can be done to a human being. And we can do most anything to rats. This is a hard thing to think about, but it's the truth. It won't go away because we cover our eyes. THAT is cyberpunk."

— Bruce Sterling (one of William Gibsons writing partners)

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

Kurt Vonnegut, Sirens of Titan

. . . the street finds its own uses for things

- Unatribbuted

and just a quote I found kind of funny was that Kurt Vunnegut smoked Pall Malls everyday and he referred to it as "classy way to commit suicide"

I will be back to you guys soon, better and more inspired than ever !

Sparkling Cranberry

Wedding



So, I got together with LiLe and we have a date for winter and the color is sparkling cranberry ! Although I'm not sure if it's an actual color or just the color of the smoothie I was drinking . . .







Pictures !



Here is a picspiration for Allison's dress. I saw it in an ad and loved it.







Also going back to chapter 10 where Minnow and Alan are in the meadow, the images were inspired by a few things including . . . you know it's coming . . . Twilight. But, it means more here because they don't have green where they are. Also, the image of Alan in a field was one I always had for this story.



(I posted it for the lols)













Chapter 12





When I began this story I'm not sure Allison was ever going to come back but, I always wanted Allison to be a sympathetic sweet (almost Juliana-like) character from the start.





I have to admit in all of my sci-fi cyberpunk research I never actually got a chance to fully read anything. There was one William Gibson short story called Dogfight I did like and read and Allison is based on a character from that. I've mentioned this story before as where the line "antique paper bills in plastic sleeves" in the prolouge came from.



The story is about a theif, Deke who has a brainlock preventing from going back to his home of Washington D.C after he is caught. At a bus stop in Norfolk, VA he sees some men playing a game that is like minature planes dogfighting and he wants to beat the best player so he stays in the town.



Anyway at a hotel he is staying in he befriends a girl names Nance who is a very smart 17 year old engineering major at William and Mary who builds programs and holograms. The character has a "mental chastity block,"because her parents want her to concentrate on school.



It's a kind of complicated story and the creative commons formatting/editing is terrible but, I could talk more about it if anyone is curious. Anway there is a section where Nance gets this drug called Hype that helps you concentrate. She wants to use it for her interview for an impressive job that will make her paretns take the block of but, Deke wants it to win his match and there is just a piece of dialouge/scene I love. He says to her :

"Baby, you got the fucking world! Take a look around you six ounces of

blond Lebanese hash! Little anchovy fish in tins. Unlimited medical

coverage, if you need it." She was backing away from him, stumbling against

the static waves of unwashed bedding and wrinkled glossy magazines that

crested at the foot of her bed. "Me, I never had a glimmer of any of this.

Never had the kind of edge it takes to get along. Well, this one time I am

gonna. There is a match in two hours that I am going to fucking well win. Do

you hear me?" He was working himself into a rage, and that was good. He

needed it for what he had to do.

"Where did you stash it?" Pinned against the bed under his body, Nance

began to spasm, her entire body convulsing in pain and fear.

And no, I have no idea what Blonde Lebanese Hash is referring to. . . maybe a food ?I found that paragraph the best thing in the story which is mostly about gampeplay and jargon. Also,I mention this because it gives more insight into Allison's character orgin. I suppose I was playing up her innocence some. And I kind of like the people completely in love emotionally and never physically because they can't touch. . . or maybe I miss Pushing Dasies.

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Playlist *This has some of my favorites I've been saving since UL2*

-1-Pokerface by Daughtry

-2-Bleed it out-- Linkin Park (had this one since UL2)

-3- My Guardian Angel (had this one since UL2)

-4- Howl's Moving Castle theme

Randomness !

Wedding Stuff

So, I know people want some news on the wedding but, honestly at this point Erik and I are just enjoying being engaged--we haven't even set a date yet. We are thankful for all the (albeit unsolicited) advice from our friends and family on marriage though. It will probably be in California somewhere because we both love it here, it's just getting Erik's family over here and hoping some of his groomsmen make parole.

The Arcadians

A majority of this story changed drastically from what I planned it to be. It was originally more of a Da Vinci Code type thing where Alan's meaning of life, his world is turned completely upside down but, it over time became more socially conscious and something different. The idea for the Arcadian came from LiLe who asked me a question about Middle America back in chapter 3 or 4.

In this reality Middle America is empty except for Neo-Luddites who choose to live there. So, Arcadia refers to what was formerly Arcadia, Wisconsin. There are some little notes about it so, I will put them in list form :

* Eau Gaulle (Shai's last name) is a city in Wisconsin and so is Paris, his uncle's first name. Saron and Shai (pronounced Shy) are just names I like.

* The townships headquarters architecture is based on the Georgia State Capitol with the gold dome.

* This fictional Arcadia landscape is based on Middlebury College in Vermont.

The Neo-Luddites are based on the Quakers in Uncle Tom's Cabin. Having a group like the Quakers was an idea I always had for this piece and it was always inspired by the Quakers in that novel. The idea of taking care of strangers no matter what their past deeds had been or what brought them there. In fact, the Quaker family in the novel, the Hallidays have the same name as the Hallidays in the serial: Ruth, Rachel and Siamyn (which is a version of Simon so, it has nothing to do with fish. I changed the spelling so no one would catch on)

Side Note and Musings, um Ramblings ?

On a side note, Vincenzo Natali the director of Splice will be directing the film version of William Gibson's Neuromancer, one of the books I based some of the characteristics of this serial off of. I myself stand in awe of this mans work even if I can't follow half of it.

On that note, I like Lile re-read comments and someone asked me why I did not use a female protagonist. I don't have a reason except that Alan just came to me as a complete character. I will say that one of my issues with some CP short stories and books is the not so great female characters, I do kind of feel some of these authors (who are usually always male, have not come across one female) struggle with writing good females. There are certain words referring to the female anatomy you should not use in a sex scene . . .

In some sense Sara was my answer to this. I wanted to write a strong female character and in some sense she is the main character and Alan is just the plot device.

Does that make sense ? I didn't think so, I'll come back to this rambling later.

Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Playlist

-1-Cello Suite #1 -- Bach/ YoYo Ma ( I like this music for a certain reason)

-2-Taking Over Me-- Evanescence (one of the songs from my original concept playlist. I know I need to stop with the "emo" music)

-3-Hazy by - Rosi G ( Thanks Pandora !)

I write like . . .

New Time Waster

So, I found this new time waster called I write like (iwl.me is the address) . You put in text and it analyzes it to tell you who you write like. It uses 50 authors to choose from and it is based on style, word choice, whether you use dialogue or not. For fun, I put in a passage from chapter 1 of Veritas, the chapter I thought was the best. I got Cory Doctrow. I did not know who he was but, apparently he is a science fiction writer.

I also put in chapter 9 of HoF, my favorite chapter so far and got Charles Dickens. I messed around with LiLe's before and I think I got Edgar Allen Poe for one chapter.

Also when I put this in (something I made up) :

His eyes shined like red rubies. I looked deep into them as our lips locked in a deep passionate kiss. Much to my chagrin he took his pale hand in mine and pushed me away.

"We can't" he said

"Why not ?," I asked fiddling with my bracelet.

"There is so much you do not understand," he explained,"The pain I feel just being near you,"

I got Stephanie Meyer. I know, I'm terrible

Blogging

I know I've been slacking on my blogging but, I will pick up on it for the next entry

Chapter 10 & 11

Alright on to the next chapters. I use one song twice so, the number 5 comes up twice. Speaking of the playlist prepare yourself for some LiLe Throwbacks. I just realized how pretty purple and gray are together. Hmmm . . .

Chapter 10

Citizen Soldier by 3 Doors Down (Saint's theme song)

Chapter 11

-1- Lithium Instrumental

-2- How to Save A Life Instrumental

-3- Life After You Acoustic

-4- Gravity Acapella (you all knew Sara Barielles was coming eventually, I love her !)

-5-Blow Me Away (One of Sara's Theme songs)

-6- My Immortal

-5- Blow Me Away again,

Chapter 9

This is the first time I have ever written something and knew exactly what everything is leading to and it is making me kind of nervous for some reason. I don't have much to blog about at this point but, I will say this chapter is one of the longer ones and I think my next post will be a 2 chapter post.

Also, I am getting a bit screwed over by playlist.com as well but, I'm dealing. They only stole one song that I really, really loved so I will have to youtube it !

Oh, wait I do want to post about some of the things in the comments :

Mjollner

Mjollner is romanticized version of Mjöllnir, the hammer of Thor. The hammer is representative of the hammer and scythe on the Soviet Flag. So the Mjollner are the Soviet crime family in this universe. I was originally going to call them the Red Scythes but, I didn't really like it. Also, the hammer and scythe on the Soviet flag represent agriculture and industry in case you were wondering.

Chapter 8

In the last chapter Alan takes something from Minnie's drawer and says just in case. He is taking the gun to kill Dakota. This was added at the very last minute because I needed to explain why he had a weapon.

Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Playlist

-1- Under The Bridge
-2-Bitter Earth
-3-False Pretense
-4- White Flag

I'm going to need a lot of somethings . . .

Hello all,

So, this update is a little rough because I've been busy (you may want to open this link in Google Chrome) with certain changes in my life. There has been lots of dinners and relative meetings.

Anyway this chapter, in retrospect could have been tacked on to chapter 7, in fact it originally was so, it is one of the shorter chapters but it is a launching point for something bigger. I have a huge chunk of this story planned out and leading somewhere, although the course changes a lot.

I have to say I am nervous about planning out ahead because that was what I did with IVB and that contributed a little to why it was so short. I actually have "theme songs" for most of the characters and I'm not sure if they will ever fit in to the tone of the story.

Anyway, I am getting excited about this again, I just need to remember to pace myself.

Cyberspace/Internet

Carleigh asked about this in Chapter 5 and I wanted to wait until now to address it. She asked what the difference was between cyberspace and internet and here it is :

The term "Cybernetics" refers to anything you add to your body to perform a task better. So, essentially *prepare to be freaked out* eyeglasses are a type of cybernetics *okay maybe not so freaked out*

So, in this story the internet and cyberspace are the same thing but, cyberspace is a term used because they use something attached to their bodies to access it, the Syndicates.

Past, Present, Future

Something I try to keep track of but haven't been is how I use my verbs to tell the story. I use a lot of "ing" verbs traditionally but, using present tense creates a more fast paced story. To better explain look at this passage from Chapter 5. This isn't the best example but here is the original :
Low acoustic, auto tuned electroica droned out of invisible speakers and the multi colored light strobed along to the pulses. In the corner rows of white bubbles hosted Stimsim casts.

Compare it to

There was low acoustic autotuned electonica droning out of invisible speakers and multi-colored lights were strobbing along to the pulse. In the corner there were rows of while bubble hosting Stimsim casts.

The first uses present verbs the other doesn't and it sounds a bit stilted.

Chapter 8

Alright so this chapter only has one song because the pacing of this chapter changes a lot and I would rather have one good song than a bunch of random ones.

Chapter 8

No Air by Lea Michele and Cory Monteith